This is a special teaching on friendship. The real author was a cloistered nun who wishes to remain anonimous. I am into two very special platonic friendships. I would like to spread the conditions I hold dear for maintaining these friendships.


  • Friends have some interests in common.
  • Friends share an on-going relationship, usually a loyal one, with periodic contact. This contact isn't always a regular contact. 
  • Friends trust one another with information, money, safety, and other relationships.
  • Friends can say "No" to one another and still remain friends.
  • Friends can see, and accept, the worst in each other.
  • Friends rarely feel they 'owe' each other anything.
  • The 'give-and-take' between friends is always without obligation.
  • Friendship is having understanding of the other person, acceptance, lack of embarrassment, and trust.
  • Friendship is held within us, an attitude toward another person much like love, anger or prejudice. It requires no regular outward expression. It requires merely a feeling of commitment to the relationship.
  • Aristotle referred to his friends as "soul mates."
  • Friends share something of themselves, some information or even, occasionally, something very private. Be spontaneous.
  • Ask your friend's advice with a problem or help with a project.
  • Be honest especially with your friends.
  • Simply tell your friend that you like/love him or her.
  • Remember, Jesus is your friend too... in much of the same way... act accordingly!  Friends are a gift from God.
  • Do something good for your friend; a gift (prayer too) even when there is no special occasion.
  • Friendship is never possessive.


One of these wonderful friends is in the USA, one in Australia. They are all a blessing to me, and a gift from God. I hope that you, the reader, will find such friendships. If you are married, begin with your spouse. Show him or her this teaching. This teaching promotes long marriages and peaceful families.


I ask St. Francis of Assisi, whose Rule I follow, to bless you as you adapt these key points of friendship to your lives.

Fred S. Schaeffer, OFS


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Secular Franciscan Order
Ordo Franciscanus Sæcularis

Divine Mercy Fraternity

Vero Beach, FL


Officers as of 1/10/2016


Fred Schaeffer, OFS
Helen Caldarone, OFS
Mary "Jean" McGovern, OFS
Jack Reddy, OFS

Formation Director: 
Donna Haro, OFS


 Joanne Giordano, OFS


Fred Schaeffer, OFS

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